Steve Jobs Has ‘Weeks To Live,’ Says The National Enquirer

Steve Jobs took another medical leave of absence earlier this year with no estimated return date. The National Enquirer has now published some scary-looking photos of Steve, which depict him looking thinner and perhaps more ill than ever.

The Enquirer followed him from breakfast to the Stanford Cancer Center. It says he has to weeks to live, based on analysis of the photos by Dr Gabe Mirkin and Dr Samuel Jacobson. Neither are oncologists nor have seen Steve in person. Mirkin, a radio talk show host, claims he has a “20-year track record of spotting breakthroughs and recommending effective treatments long before they become standard medical care” and makes his assessment of Steve based on the appearance of Steve’s butt in the photos. Yes, this doctor is making a butt diagnosis, remotely.

The National Enquirer has been right about things before, like the John Edwards affair. And Jobs very likely was at the Stanford Cancer Center. But they’re also wrong a lot – especially when it comes to proclaiming that celebrities have mere weeks to live. (Patrick Swayze, God bless him, beat their gruesome prognosis by a year. Kirstie Alley and Oprah will both be dead in years by the Enquirer’s reckoning.) The photos are shocking, but nearly every magazine retouches photos.

And just a couple weeks ago, Steve was supposedly spotted on Apple campus looking spry with a “full, genuine smile”.

We hope that the Enquirer is wrong. And that’s what our gut tells us. But who knows. [National Enquirer]

The Cheapest NBN 50 Plans

It’s the most popular NBN speed in Australia for a reason. Here are the cheapest plans available.

At Gizmodo, we independently select and write about stuff we love and think you'll like too. We have affiliate and advertising partnerships, which means we may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. BTW – prices are accurate and items in stock at the time of posting.