The Google I/O tech conference was last week and it was boring, if I recall correctly, my dear colleague Zac called it a ‘snoozefest’ and rightly so.
It was boring as hell, it was just AI announcement after AI announcement and for someone who was up a the crack of bloody dawn, it did not keep me awake.
Tech conferences used to be elite, they used to be rock star level-insanity. When Steve Jobs stepped on the stage, you knew shit was going down. And when Steve Ballmer, former CEO at Microsoft would step on stage, you only wish smartphones were invented so we could see that man scream ‘DEVELOPERS!!!’ in 4K.
I can only imagine the energy and atmosphere that was in that room at the Macworld in San Francisco in 2007 when Jobs uttered the sentence, “This is a day I’ve been looking forward to for two and a half years”.
But sadly, tech conferences are heavily PR monitored and nothing unhinged really happens. But let’s bring back being over the top presentation, viral fails, or releasing a product that is game changing, please I beg you. Because this is how I feel like tech conferences are at the moment.
Qualcomm 2013 Keynote
I actually cannot believe this keynote happened, it is the definition of unhinged. This presentation is all about being ‘born mobile’, a fair concept in 2013 but the script is chaotic. It begins with a 20-something talking about how she has to be on her phone, and a gamer dude comes out saying he has a hot girlfriend and alludes to her having big breasts (yikes) and then its finished up by another guy acting like a real tech bro. Just watch below for yourself.
Wii Band
In 2008, during Nintendo’s E3 keynote (RIP E3) they decided to showcase Wii Music by how else? Getting real life musicians to play virtual instruments. Entertaining and noteworthy, 10/10, no notes.
Xbox E3 Fail
This isn’t unhinged as it is just plain funny. Kudo Tsunoda, one of Microsoft’s big wig at the time was showcasing an Xbox avatar that could mimic a gamer, which is cool. But too bad the presentation didn’t go as planned.
Steve Ballmer
When former CEO of Microsoft Steve Ballmer takes the stage, you’ll pay attention. Not because of his looks, but because he will gallop onto the stage as if he’s shotgunned 12 Red Bulls and then scream from the top of his lungs. This man needs to create a Masterclass in stage presence.
And more Steve Ballmer
Ballmer was known for his over-the-top, sweaty persona on stage and this clip below is a great example of how this man was the king of tech conferences.
I can’t get enough of Steve Ballmer
Bring this man back to tech conferences, honestly.
This isn’t unhinged, but iconic
Image: YouTube/HBO