Are you tired of your magicians being wise old sages and beatific fonts of knowledge? Let me fix that. Here are nine books where the main characters are both magical and absolute disasters. The fact that we have such an incredible selection of these sorts of dumbasses that also happen to be queer is just the best thing that my lil gay heart has ever seen. I love to get queer magic representation, and these books are all fantastic.
The Unspoken Name, Sethennai and Shuthmili
Sethennai and Shuthmili are two queer disasters in a cast of disaster queers. This book takes old school pulp fantasy and reimagines it with an out of this world mythos, creating something fun and also emotionally devastating. If anyone asks, I would die for Tal (the peak disaster gay) and his frenemy, Croswe (the U-Haul lesbian).
Six of Crows, Jesper Fahey and Nina Zenik
Jesper might not know he’s a queer disaster wizard, but ignorance doesn’t take long. Nina’s a bi babe and while she’s got some ex hangups in this set of books, she sort of gets over it with a cute girlfriend in the King of Scars duology. Regardless, Six of Crows remains a book about disaster gays.
Shades of Magic Series, Luc Emery and Rhys Maresh
While Prince Rhys is definitely a pansexual disaster prince, it’s Luc Emery, his ex-boyfriend that shows up in book two, who is the reason for the season, such as it is. The man is a pirate/magician/noble and it’s every disaster gay trope rolled into one.
The Raven Cycle, Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch
Probably my first encounter with disaster magicians. Adam Parrish talks to magic trees and Ronan Lynch makes his dreams come true. They kiss a bit and because they are different flavours of teenage dirtbag, they are Truly Disastrous.
A Restless Truth, Violet Debenham
I received this book as an ARC, I’m less than 50 pages into it, and I can assure you that Violet is the biggest disaster bisexual I’ve ever had read about, and she’s perfect. (A Restless Truth releases November 1.)
Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Mo Dao Zu Shi, Wei Wuxian
OK, I know that we’re really pushing the definition of magician here, as both of these boys (and most of the character in wuxia) are not technically magicians and instead cultivate qi within themselves in order to be like… superpowered martial artists, but! It’s a sort of magic, in its own way, and Wei Wuxian is the most disaster of all disaster queers, and I will not apologise for the truth. (You might be more familiar with this property in its current live-action adaption form, The Untamed.)
The Jasmine Throne, Priya
Priya is so incredibly caught up in both how sexy and scary Malini is that she literally tries to overthrow a dictatorship. Peak disaster gay energy. She’s also incredibly, terribly magic, and you can read about her and Malini’s deeply felt romance/revolution in the sequel, The Oleander Sword: 2 Sapphic 2 Scary.
The Scapegracers, Sideways Pike
I love dumb teenage magicians, and Sideways Pike delivers tomfoolery and badassery on a platter. She’s an absolutely, absurdly queer little disaster witch and she will ruin your day.
Notorious Sorcerer, Siyon Velo
Look, I’ve only read a few chapters of this book (it just came out September 13) and already I know that Siyon makes bad decisions and I love him for it. I don’t care if he’s a fool. I love him, your honour. (Pick this book up ASAP, the voice, the setting, all of it: perfection.)
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