The Company That Hates Whistleblowers Wants You to Buy a Cyberwhistle

The Company That Hates Whistleblowers Wants You to Buy a Cyberwhistle

Today on stupid shit Elon Musk has put his name to, we bring you the Cyberwhistle.

The Cyberwhistle is a whistle shaped like Tesla’s nowhere-to-be-seen Cybertruck. It’s made from medical-grade stainless steel with a polished finish and….nope, that’s it. We’re unsure what the hell you’d actually use this thing for, but perhaps it serves as a caution to avoid the person using it at all costs. It’s a better option than painting on your forehead ‘I’m a wanker’, so there’s that.

The listing contains minimal useful information, much like the inside of Musk’s head, but it notes that the Cyberwhistle includes “an integrated attachment feature for added versatility”.

How does it sound? Not sure, but Musk is threatening to make this thing louder. Sorry, much louder.

Anyway, the Tesla Cyberwhistle was selling for a mere 1000 Doge (Doge, if you’re unfamiliar, is a joke crypto coin that offers nothing more than a lol to its holders). 1000 Doge translates currently to $87 in Aussie money. It’s also now sold out. Why are people buying this thing? At least it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than the $300 sterling silver whistle Tiffany & Co is flogging.

Worth noting, however, is that Musk has a massive interest in Dogecoin and any chatter/movement around the nascent coin gives the guy a boost. When Tesla announced it would be accepting sales in Doge, the coin skyrocketed in value by 18 per cent.

Despite Musk and his slew of companies and purchases/non-purchases not exactly loving the concept of a whistleblower, it’s an interesting move to mass produce items that, in essence, make a person a whistleblower. That’s a bad joke and we’re sorry. Musk does this to people.

tesla Cyberwhistle
Image: Tesla

As the Cyberwhistle is now sold out, may we instead interest you in a Desktop Supercharger (a USB cable organiser) or a $US1,900 Cyberquad for kids?

Tesla is a company built on innovation. Anyway, as you were.

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