Ninja Vs. Shark. It’s a movie. A real movie, one coming to theatres in Japan next month. It even has a real trailer, which is without question the most ludicrously violent, and violently silly, movie trailer I have ever seen. Here is that trailer.
Again, a warning: This trailer is overflowing with CG blood and it’s littered with dismembered body parts, both figuratively and literally.
🦈🦈🦈予告編解禁🦈🦈🦈
スピルバーグも驚く怒涛の死闘。
斬るか、喰われるか！？
巨大にして、邪悪。伝説の魔物を討て！4/14(金)全国ロードショー👏👏#妖獣奇譚ニンジャVSシャークhttps://t.co/PgUzJb54do
サメの時代は終わらない👍👍#坂本浩一#平野宏周 #西銘駿 #長野じゅりあ#宮原華音 pic.twitter.com/roX7lwJNFE
— 【公式】映画配給エクストリーム (@extreme__film) March 10, 2023
Does anything more really need be said? Sure, maybe a more accurate title would be Ninja Vs. Ninja Vs. Ninja Vs. Samurai Vs. Zombies Vs. More Ninjas. Vs. Shark, and maybe the effects rival Syfy TV movies like the Sharknado series. (Which, as I think we can all agree in retrospect, needed more ninjas.) However, those are the sorts of details that fade into irrelevancy as you watch a shark burst through the ground in its desire for ninja blood. Certainly you don’t need this seemingly official plot summary:
The setting is the Edo period, when the slaughtered corpses of villagers are found on the beach in Okitsu village, a remote area. Samejiro Mizuchi, the leader of the heresy group Koumashu, uses ninjutsu to force sharks to collect pearls from the villagers in order to gain the power of immortality.
Frustrated by this situation, the village chief goes to see Kotaro Shiozaki, a bodyguard at a temple on the outskirts of the village, to ask for help. Kotaro accepts the job with a reward, but a female ninja named Kikuma appears in his path. Kotaro challenges Sameshirou to save the villagers, but what appears in front of him is a gigantic shark that doesn’t seem to be of this world.
The movie stars a bunch of tokusatsu actors from various Kamen Rider and Ultraman series, as well as a female pro wrestler. Ticket sold! Or it would be if I were in Japan on April 14, when Ninja Vs. Shark premieres. Hopefully, an American VOD release isn’t too far behind, because I’ll be shocked if this gets a theatrical release over here.