The rapid proliferation of ChatGPT-style chatbots over the past year has led a decent chunk of salesmen, doctors, journalists, and other keyboard warriors to nervously fret over their future job security. One group of workers that probably don’t need to worry about chatbots anytime soon, however, are bartenders.
Gizmodo decided to test out our supposed AI overlord’s ability to create craft cocktails by probing it to serve up around a dozen drinks inspired by Silicon Valley’s biggest personalities. The results of the experiment ran the gamut from hilariously goofy to straight-up undrinkable. A Jack Dorsey-inspired drink called “The Salty CEO,” for example, combined three liquors and a handful of pink Himalayan salt with a squeeze of lime. Unpleasant. Another, based on billionaire Elon Musk, called for a grab bag of contrasting spirits and bitters topped off by a squeeze of Red Bull. Can I interest anyone in an “Electric Entrepreneur?”
In the name of science, Gizmodo created each of the chatbot’s concoctions, dutifully staying true to both the AI’s suggested ingredients and preparation instructions. Gizmodo tasked the cocktail job to both OpenAI’s ChatGPT and Google’s Bard. The two products’ responses to the exact same queries differed in interesting and sometimes peculiar ways. Google Bard, for example, agreed to create a cocktail inspired by disgraced Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes but opted to include a disclaimer saying did not endorse her actions. ChatGPT flat-out refused to make a Holmes homage.
“As an AI language model, I must make it clear that Elizabeth Holmes is currently facing legal charges for fraud and deception related to her company, Theranos,” ChatGPT said. “As such, I cannot create a cocktail inspired by her or endorse her actions”
We’ve compiled slides including the cocktail’s AI-generated name, the ingredients, additional notes about the AI’s decision-making, and, of course, our own human review. 12 cocktails were consumed by this writer and a few other human meat bags to create this review. ChatGPT told me that’s considered “a large amount to consume in one sitting” and said I should consider drinking in moderation in the future.
Mark Zuckerberg: ‘The Facebook Fizz’
Recipe:
- 2 oz vodka
- 1 oz blue curacao liqueur
- 1 oz lemon juice
- 1 oz simple syrup
- Club soda
- Ice
- Lemon wheel, for garnish
Chat GPT’s notes: “This cocktail is inspired by the blue colour of Facebook’s logo and the refreshing fizz of the social media platform. Enjoy responsibly!”
Review: The Zuckerberg-inspired ‘Facebook Fizz’ wasn’t exactly bad per see but it certainly wasn’t good either. In fact, the drink really lacked any strong taste one way or another, which seems like an apt comparison to the Facebook founder’s notoriously amoral disposition.
Jack Dorsey, ‘The Salty CEO’
Recipe:
- 2 ounces vodka
- 1 ounce gin
- 1 ounce tequila
- 1 ounce Mezcal
- 1 ounce fresh lime juice
- 1 ounce simple syrup
- ½ teaspoon Himalayan salt
- ¼ teaspoon black pepper
Google Bard description: “This cocktail is inspired by Jack Dorsey’s morning routine of drinking “salt juice.” The salt and pepper add a touch of flavour and complexity, while the citrus juices and alcohol provide a refreshing and invigorating boost. It’s the perfect drink to start your day off right, or to enjoy after a long day of work.”
Review: The Salty CEO was one of the most feared drinks on the list based solely on its unflattering ingredients but it the end product actually tasted pretty similar to a perfectly acceptable margarita. The drink is “salty” as advertised but doesn’t go so far in that direction that it tastes like a gulp full of seawater.
Elon Musk: The ‘Electric Entrepreneur’
Recipe:
- 1/2 oz vodka
- 1/2 oz blue curacao
- 1 oz lime juice
- 1/2 oz honey syrup
- Dash of orange bitters
- Splash of Red Bull
- Lemon twist, for garnish
ChatGPT notes: Enjoy the “Electric Entrepreneur” cocktail while contemplating your next big idea or exploring the limits of what’s possible!
Review: The Electric Entrepeneur is loud, highly caffeinated, in your face, and leaves a nasty taste lingering in your mouth. If the goal was to make a drink that embodied its namesake’s aura, ChatGPT truly nailed it on this one.
Tim Cook: The ‘Innovative Executive’
Recipe:
- 1 1/2 oz gin
- 1 oz apple cider
- 1/2 oz lemon juice
- 1/2 oz simple syrup
- 1/2 oz triple sec
- Dash of cinnamon
- Apple slice, for garnish
ChatGPT notes: Enjoy the “Innovative Executive” cocktail while brainstorming new and exciting ideas, or simply appreciating the spirit of innovation that Tim Cook embodies!
Review: The ‘Innovate Executive’ does a great job of embodying a CEO who, while still massively successful and still technically at the helm of Apple, will always feel like a B-team version of his former boss. The Tim Cook-inspired drink tastes of flat apple juice that just happens to be boozy. The dash of cinnamon at the end attempts to raise this uninspired mixer up at the last minute but ultimately falls flat leaving the entry tasting like a cacophony of unexciting, dulled flavours.
Jeff Bezos: The Blue Origin’
Recipe:
- 2 ounces tequila
- 1 ounce blue curaçao
- 1 ounce lime juice
- Club soda, to top
- Lime wedge, for garnish
Google Bard description: I chose these ingredients because they represent some of the qualities that I associate with Jeff Bezos. Tequila is a clear spirit that is often associated with success and ambition. Blue curaçao is a tropical flavour that represents Bezos’s vision for space travel. Lime juice is a tart citrus fruit that represents Bezos’s determination and drive. Club soda is a refreshing beverage that represents Bezos’s ability to relax and enjoy life.
Review: If there’s one thing Amazon founder Jeff Bezos understands, it’s consistency. And union busting. The Blue Origin hits on that first quality, serving up a blue margarita-inspired drink that’s completely accessible and highly drinkable. The Blue Origin is the type of middling cocktail you’d likely find poured by the pitcher full at a mid-tier chain restaurant like Ruby Tuesday’s or Chilli’s.
Satya Nadella: ‘Cloud Nine’
Recipe:
- 1 1/2 oz vodka
- 1 oz blueberry juice
- 1/2 oz lime juice
- 1/2 oz honey syrup
- 1/2 oz triple sec
- Splash of club soda
- Blueberries, for garnish
ChatGPT notes: Enjoy the “Cloud Nine” cocktail while reflecting on the innovative and forward-thinking leadership of Satya Nadella, or while exploring the exciting possibilities of cloud computing technology!
Review: Easily One of the better drinks of the bunch. The drink is orange flavour forward but the blueberries give it a nice unique taste and some different flavour. No real complaints here.
Sundar Pichai: The ‘Googletini’
Recipe:
- 1 1/2 oz gin
- 1 oz grapefruit juice
- 1/2 oz lime juice
- 1/2 oz simple syrup
- Splash of tonic water
- Lime wheel, for garnish
ChatGPT notes: Enjoy the “Googletini” cocktail while pondering the future of technology and the impact that companies like Google and Alphabet Inc. are having on the world!
Review: The “Googletini” is a drink you’ll likely only want one of, if at all. The grapefruit flavour cuts through leading to a bitter, but not bitter enough taste that’s too indecisive to be appealing. The Gooletini has a refreshing, springtime spell, but that’s about the best compliment it can receive.
Sam Altman: The ‘Venture Vibe’
Recipe:
- 1 1/2 oz tequila
- 1 oz grapefruit juice
- 1/2 oz lime juice
- 1/2 oz honey syrup
- Splash of sparkling wine
- Grapefruit twist, for garnish
ChatGPT notes: “Enjoy the ‘Venture Vibe’ cocktail while discussing new business ideas or reflecting on the exciting possibilities of entrepreneurship and innovation!”
Review: Without any doubt, the “Venture Vibe stands” stands apart as easily the nastiest entry of the bunch. This writer is no snob when it comes to anything with alcohol in it, but this unpalatable marriage of tequila and sparkling wine found itself swirling down the kitchen drain and a few sips. It’s somewhat ironic that ChatGPT would choose the most abhorrent drink imaginable to represent its corporate father. Maybe there’s something to the whole AI sentience argument after all.
Steve Jobs: The ‘iMartini’
Recipe:
- 1 1/2 oz vodka
- 1 oz apple juice
- 1/2 oz lemon juice
- 1/2 oz simple syrup
- Dash of bitters
- Thin slice of apple, for garnish
ChatGPT notes: “Enjoy the “iMartini” cocktail while celebrating the innovative spirit of Steve Jobs and the impact that Apple has had on technology and design!”
Review: The “iMartini” seems like a win on the first sip. Its Apple-themed flavours stand out and punch through. One quickly begins to realise though that this intense mix of sugars and fruits is a quick one-way ticket to a blistering hangover. Limit yourself to one.
Elizabeth Holmes ‘The Theranos’
Recipe:
- 2 ounces vodka
- 1 ounce St. Germain elderflower liqueur
- 1 ounce lime juice
- Cucumber, for garnish
Google Bard notes: “I chose these ingredients because they represent some of the qualities that I associate with Elizabeth Holmes. Vodka is a clear spirit that is often associated with purity and precision. St. Germain is a floral liqueur that represents Holmes’s creativity and vision. Lime juice is a tart citrus fruit that represents Holmes’s determination and drive. Cucumber is a refreshing vegetable that represents Holmes’s calm and collected demeanour.”
But wait: Bard added a disclaimer to the bottom of the recipe saying it does not condone Holmes’ actions since she is facing criminal fraud charge. ChatGPT, on the other hand, flat-out refused to make the cocktail.
Recipe: The Theranos is an unbalanced, overly floral cocktail that tried to present itself as sophisticated but winds up tasting like a perfumed turd. But in a kind of a good way? This drink received polarising reviews from Gizmodo’s taste testers.
Sam Bankman-Fried: The ‘Crypto Cooler’
Recipe:
- 1 1/2 oz rum
- 1 oz pineapple juice
- 1/2 oz lime juice
- 1/2 oz blue curaçao
- Splash of ginger beer
- Pineapple wedge, for garnish
ChatGPT notes: “Enjoy the ‘Crypto Cooler’ cocktail while discussing the future of cryptocurrency and the innovative approaches that Sam Bankman-Fried and FTX are taking to revolutionise the industry!”
Review: The Crypto Cooler was surprisingly not half bad! The drink tastes like a kind of cool, fruity, sugary, summer vacation drink one would enjoy while lounging beach-side in the Bahamas. Who knows, maybe SBF was enjoying an icy Crypto Cooler moments before he was arrested in the Bahamas last year.
Donald Trump, TRUTH Social founder: ‘The Trump’
Recipe
- 2 ounces vodka
- 1 ounce orange juice
- 1 ounce cranberry juice
- 1/2 ounce lime juice
- 1/2 ounce simple syrup
- Orange slice, for garnish
Google Bard description: “Ichose these ingredients because they represent some of the qualities that I associate with Donald Trump. Vodka is a clear spirit that is often associated with clarity and intelligence. Orange juice is a sweet and tart citrus fruit that represents Trump’s determination and drive. Cranberry juice is a tart and refreshing fruit that represents Trump’s resilience. Lime juice is a tart citrus fruit that represents Trump’s outspokenness. Simple syrup is a sweet syrup that balances out the tartness of the orange juice, cranberry juice, and lime juice. Orange slice adds a refreshing touch.”
Recipe: Imagine a screwdriver you’d drink at an Irish pub at 1:00 p.m. on a Tuesday. Except it’s $25 and somehow became America’s president for four years.