Man’s best friend doesn’t come cheap these days, so you can imagine how excited a retired Argentinian man was to find double the companionship at a fraction of the cost: two adorable toy poodles — just itching to snuggle, crawl and slobber all over you — for a mere $150. And, by toy poodles, of course, we’re referring to preened, fluffed and steroid-pumped “rats”.
Since more traditional toy poodles (of the canine variety) can go for upwards of $1000, one merchant at Argentina’s largest bazaar got the brilliant, nightmare-inducing idea to pump a few “Brazilian rats” (otherwise known as ferrets) full of ‘roids and hair product, pass them off as warped, perhaps inbred poodles, and turn a handsome profit in the process. His creations were apparently at least somewhat convincing, since the man didn’t even know anything was awry until his first trip to the vet.
But this wasn’t an isolated incident. At least one other woman, under the impression of buying a Chiuhuahua, was actually picking up one of these juicing, mutant mutts — although, presumably, with a different hairdo.
Although a fluffy, ‘roid-raging ferret does not a poodle nor a Chiuhuahua make, neither of the duped individuals has filed any sort of complaint. Meaning we can only assume that they’ve come to love their horrifying new friends, drug habit be damned. While this may not be quite what either party had in mind, there are certainly worse faithful companions to be had. Like a rat king, for instance. At least it’s not a rat king.