Murderer. Slave owner. Celebrated philanderer. These are the words that should come to mind when considering a one Mr Nicholas “Santa” Claus. Just because you can see through that drunk jolly facade, though, doesn’t mean the rest of the world can.
So it’s time to take matters into your own hands. Fortunately, OpticsPlanet has put together a state-of-the-art, high-tech Santa Stakeout Kit for all your hardcore Santa-hunting needs. The guy never stood a chance.
The kit — which can be all yours for the low, one-time cost of $US6500 — includes everything you could ever possibly need to hunt down the diabetic trespasser — and a lot of stuff you almost definitely won’t need. The entire list of contents is as follows:
Camoflage Gear
Apparel
- Propper Crew Neck Mens T-Shirt
- BlackHawk Omega Elite Tactical Vest #1
- Under Armour Coldgear Hitch Lite Cushion Boot Socks
- BlackHawk ECW Pro Winter Operations Gloves
- Tru-Spec H2O Waterproof ECWS Gen 2 Parka
Backpacks
Hydration & Food Storage
Camping Gear
Hunting Gear
- Cass Creek Harmon Synthetic Mule Deer Female in Heat Scent
- Leupold RX-1000i Compact Range Finder with DNA
- Bushnell 8MP Trophy Cam Night Vision Field Scan Trail Camera
- AimSHOT Heatseeker Infrared Spotter with Laser
Accessories
- Gen Pro Tactical Stocking with MOLLE
- Bolle Mojo Snow Ski Goggles
- Zippo Hand Warmer, Black
- Surefire P2X Fury Flashlight – Dual Output Tactical Light
- Pro Ears Pro Hear IV BTE Digital Hearing Device
- 5.11 Tactical Field Ops Watch
- Brite Strike Technologies Tactical Balls White LED Rolling Devices
- OPMOD TBO 1.0 Limited Edition Tactical Bottle Opener
- Uniden Two-Way FRS/GMRS Walkie Talkies
- OPMOD WB 1.0 Limited Edition 8x42mm Waterproof Binoculars
Night Vision, Thermals & Cameras
- Carson OPMOD DNV 1.0 Limited Edition Mini Aura Digital Night Vision Pocket Monocular
- Elmo Indoor Day/Night Network Dome Security Camera
- Brinno TimeLapse Motion Sensor Digital Camera Bundle
- Canon EOS Rebel T4i Digital SLR Camera Kit
- FLIR Scout PS-24 Thermal Camera / Digital Thermal Imager
- Celestron C90 Mak Spotting Scope w/ Tripod
There is no stone left unturned here. Tactical stocking. Heatseeking infrared laser. Thermal imaging camera. Synthetic mule deer in heat scent — not even Santa’s reindeer are safe from your vengeful eye. Of course, you’ll notice a distinct lack of weaponry here, but this isn’t about hunting for sport; this is about justice. And if you’ve got $US6500 to spare, a vivid imagination, and what we imagine must be a crippling sense of paranoia, this year might finally be your year. Good luck, Santa, and game on. [OpticsPlanet via Time]
