Hope you all enjoyed your Super Bowl Sunday, well, a bit of excitement for an otherwise dreary Monday for us Aussies, but no matter how you feel about sportsball, what unites all of us are the commercials. And boy were there some, um, interesting Super Bowl LVI ads this year.
In case you missed it, the Los Angeles Rams beat out the Cincinnati Bengals 23-20. Don’t worry, that’s all the NFL talk from me in this post.
Streaming from Australia gives us the game, and the half-time show, but it doesn’t give us the ads that companies spend stupid amounts of money on. So here’s a list of all the ads from Super Bowl LVI.
Super Bowl LVI ads from tech companies
Amazon, Google, U.S. telcos, crypto sites and online booking companies splash the cash this year on Super Bowl LVI ads. Here they are.
Leaning into the assumption that Alexa is always listening to you, Scarlett Johansson and husband Colin Jost stars in this Amazon ad that proves Alexa is truly reading your mind (even though they pretend at the end she can’t).
Google Pixel 6
This teaser clip from Google talks through the impact of Real Tone, the Google Pixel 6 camera feature that actually understands skin tone of people that aren’t white. We also get an unreleased song from Lizzo to accompany the stunning shots taken by the Pixel 6. “Everyone deserves to be seen as they truly are”. Fuck yeah, Google, this is one of the better Super Bowl LVI ads.
Spot has never looked cuter. Or more drunk. If there’s one Super Bowl LVI ad you should watch, it’s this one.
Marc Benioff might be the only big tech CEO yet to head to space, but that didn’t stop the CRM giant from employing Matthew McConaughey as its space man.
Now this is the one I was waiting for. Coinbase apparently spent $14 million on this ad. Coinbase was offering $15 in free bitcoin in exchange for setting up an account by February 15. People desperately clicking on the bouncing QR code crashed its app, so there’s that bonus treat for us all.
Crypto trading platform FTX appeals to everyone with a Larry David commercial, except skeptics.
Here’s the 60 second cut:
Some more crypto for you to chew on – social investing platform eToro has entered the Super Bowl commercial space with some FYI on BTC.
It may have received a new name last month, but the once Oculus Quest made a Super Bowl LVI appearance this year with this Meta Quest ad.
It starts with Queen Dolly telling us all that America has a serious problem (we know) and she really should have stopped there instead of vibing to a 5G phone like it was a puppy at a pound looking for its forever home.
That cute little appearance by Miley at the end? We got u:
This wasn’t exactly the duet I’d have guessed Miley and Dolly would do, luckily their Jolene duet from 2010 exists for a palate cleanser.
There’s also Zach Braff and Donald Faison singing a duet for T-Mobile internet:
The first gigillionaire (I think that’s how you’d spell it if it were a word) with average Anna beating out Demi Moore and Mila Kunis as their high school’s most notable alum. “We have a lot in common”. Good Ashton Kutcher joke, AT&T
Still on U.S. telcos is Verizon’s The Cable Guy call back. Jim Carey gets ‘suited up’ for something big. Here’s the super short teaser:
And the full ad:
Netflix teased all of the shows/movies coming to its platform with its ad. Here’s a list of the latest trailers for new movies and TV shows that aired during the big game.
Ewan McGregor likes stuff. Stuff is good. But he also likes travel.
More travel is the Super Bowl LVI message from Booking.com. But in a meta way ft Idris Elba.
Stifler’s mom, I mean Jennifer Coolidge, wants to eat some aluminium foil (please note the second ‘i’ in that word, American friends).
Flash mobs are not dead, according to online car-buying platform Vroom, which pays homage to Grease.
Intuit QuickBooks and Mailchimp
It’s got DJ Kahled, karaoke and a cat in a jumper. Which absolutely sells Intuit bringing QuickBooks and Mailchimp together to help your business grow.
If second-hand embarrassment isn’t your thing, then don’t watch.
Intuit also has Ted Lasso fans with its Turbo Tax brand.
Software firm Monday.com debuted “Work Without Limits”.
Overspending on rich people shit returns a moral lesson – we don’t have Greenlight here but that’s OK, their Super Bowl LVI ad features cool gadgets and Ty Burrell.
Rocket Homes/Rocket Mortgage
This online mortgage loan provider also isn’t present down under, but their ad features Barbie and Anna Kendrick so…
And the final result:
The lesson from this one is: don’t take financial advice from memes.
Online shopping rewards (I think) site Rakuten.com has a go with Game of Thrones and Ted Lasso alum Hannah Waddingham with an obvious call back to Snow White.
And the commercial:
Squarespace’s “Everything to Sell Anything” campaign made an appearance in its Super Bowl ad, starring Zendaya.
Google tells me ClickUp is a cloud-based collaboration and project management tool. Here’s their Super Bowl LVI ad:
Sports betting company DraftKings return to Super Bowl this year, bringing with it the Goddess of Fortune, whose motto is “Life’s a Gamble”.
The debut Super Bowl commercial from another betting mob.
Not traditionally tech, but BMW’s Super Bowl LVI ad belongs in this section. It features Arni as Zeus.
If BMW can appear in this section, so can Nissan. Especially when its ad includes, actor and former MMA fighter and pro wrestler Dave Bautista, Eugene Levy, Danai Gurira, Catherine O’Hara and Brie Larson.
Our second robot dog appearance, this time we have a super cute robot puppy seeking an owner who drives the all-electric Kia EV6.
GM gave us Dr Evil (yup, actual Mike Myers) in a huge 90 second Super Bowl LVI ad. It also features Rob Lowe, Seth Green and Mindy Sterling.
The first-ever all-electric Chevy Silverado, but make it The Sopranos.
Gizmodo Australia’s favourite electric vehicle, the Polestar 2, made an appearance at Super Bowl LVI, here’s the ad:
Online car sales platform Carvana features the cringy over-sharing mum.
Wallbox is a smart electric vehicle charging and energy management provider, here’s their Super Bowl LVI ad:
These guys make car mats (and fun Super Bowl commercials).
Slotting under ‘cars’ in the tech section is a plane. Well, Turkish Airlines ft Morgan Freeman.
The rest of the ads
A lot of these companies/products mean nothing to Aussies, but hey, a Super Bowl LVI ad is a Super Bowl LVI ad, amirite?
We know you love wrestling, so let’s start this section off with the WrestleMania 38 Super Bowl LVI ad.
Budweiser helps an injured Clydesdale horse get better. There’s also a dog.
Bud Light Seltzer
Bud, again, but this time seltzer ft Guy Fieri.
And more Bud, ’cause ‘Murica:
So given I have no idea what Michelob Ultra is, I thought it was a legit bowling alley, thanks to this teaser trailer featuring Steve Buscemi, Peyton Manning (again) and Serena Williams:
But the follow up commercial tells me it’s a drink. So.
More American beer. This time ft Kenny G.
Canned cocktail brand Cutwater Spirits is really targeting our laziness with this one.
This thing features tech: a punch bowl that tells you the Super Bowl LVI score in case it was too hard to look at the TV.
Payton Manning is very happy with his Super Bowl LVI snacks. Which includes Lay’s.
Speaking of Lay’s. There’s money in chips, friends. Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd are prepping for the former’s wedding, eating Lay’s, of course. Oh, there’s also zombies.
A simple story, really, man wants Pringles, man gets hand caught in Pringles container, goes through life with a Pringles container on his hand. Beautiful, really.
More chippies, this time ft animals dancing to Push after experiencing the Flamin’ Hot Doritos. The a cappella performance we all need this Super Bowl.
Avocados from Mexico
A real company, which I can only assume sells avocados that come from Mexico. But we get ancient Romans tailgating for their own version of a Super Bowl. Now to us, tailgating is the action of a driver driving behind another vehicle while not leaving sufficient distance to stop without causing a collision, but to Americans, it’s a carpark party. Anyway.
Here’s a bonus lol from Avocados From Mexico:
— Avocados From Mexico (@AvosFromMexico) February 14, 2022
Mayo is revolting but this Super Bowl LVI ad features Pete Davidson being tackled by a former NFL player (Jerod Mayo, see what Hellmann’s did there?) in attempt to stop food waste.
More disgusting food, this time yogurt ft NFL legend Deion Sanders and his son.
I don’t even know what a Planters is but its Super Bowl LVI ad has Ken Jeong and Joel McHale arguing about how to eat mixed nuts.
Do not watch if you have Coulrophobia.
Walmart’s membership-only retail chain (so like Costco) got some Kevin Hart.
We got two different ads from Skechers during Super Bowl LVI, both of which star Willie Nelson. Here’s the first:
And the second:
Gillette Labs wants you to get a quick and easy shave.
This gym sensation made the bold move of getting Lindsay Lohan on board – discussing her issues without being overly distasteful. Dennis Rodman, Danny Trejo and William Shatner all sign up for this Super Bowl LVI ad.
Still on the fitness beat is Tonal, which also employs Serena Williams.
U.S. medical tech company focused on women’s health used its Super Bowl ad to showcase halftime performer Mary J. Blige.
Apparently these guys sell soap.
We’ve updated this post since it was first published and we’ll add more if we realise we missed something!