If you’re on Twitter, you’ve had your timeline taken over by Elon Musk at some point. This past Wednesday, it was his secret twins with Neuralink executive Shivon Zilis. Last week, it was news that his $61 billion deal to buy Twitter was in “serious jeopardy.” Finally, on Friday, Musk finally did what he had been wanting to do for months: He pulled out of the deal. Twitter is suing.
In short, there’s lots of Elon all the time (and nine baby Elons!). Believe me, writing about him is part of my job. I often joke that he’s going to start appearing my dreams (to bother me, not for anything else, ya nasties), but luckily, he hasn’t yet. While there is no escaping tech’s most unhinged CEO on the internet, you can certainly insert some delightful things in your day that are not about his drama.
One way to do this is to follow quirky Twitter bots — yes, the ones Elon hates — whose only goal in life is to tweet about very specific and random things.
Emoji Mashup Bot
Created by @louanben, Emoji Mashup Bot never fails to lighten up my mood when I’m scrolling through Twitter and see nothing but Elon’s drama, disasters, and other very bad things.
Emoji Mashup Bot is a straightforward bot that does exactly what its name says: It mashes up emojis every hour. In my humble opinion, the bot does good work and manages to be very creative. One of its recent creations that caught my eye was a combo of the anguished and partying emojis, which is basically me when I’m partying and want to go home because I’m tired. But then again, fun?
Follow: @EmojiMashupBot
Progress Bar Bot
For those who love to place a nice “X” on a physical calendar (same) there’s now another way for you to keep track of the year. The Progress Bar bot tweets out periodic updates with a simple green and black bar that lets you know how much of the year as passed. Normally, I do this in my head by counting how many months have passed until my birthday and Christmas, but this is perhaps more satisfying.
In case you’re curious, as of this past Wednesday, July 6, 2022 was 51% complete.
Follow: @ProgressBar202_
Neural Net Guesses Memes Bot
It must be said that there are some bots on Twitter doing some very smart things. I was blown away and tickled pink when I first encountered Neural Net Guesses Memes, a bot that passes memes through a neural net and tweets out what the algorithm is guessing they are. As to be expected, the guesses are often horribly off, which is hilarious. Users can even submit memes or images for the bot to study!
My favourite is when it classified this fridge full of eggs as ping pong balls and was so darn confident (99%) about it. Poor little bot.
Follow: @ResNeXtGuesser.
Ancient Meme Archive
I have to admit, I can be a bit of an Old sometimes. I’ll see a meme that’s all the rage with the kids and respond with three confused face emojis. So, when I found the Ancient Meme Archive, which tweets images without text in the style of a bot but has a definite human sensibility, I cackled in the coffee shop I was in, then I hoped no one had heard me.
Remember when pop culture was obsessed with being goth? There was a meme for that. Or when everyone would scream “SPARTAAAAAAAAA” for everything? Meme for that, too. My favourite, although it is a bit violent, features two cows with black sunglasses.
“Old McDonald had a farm,” the cows seemed to say, but we’ll never know since cows don’t talk. “Had.”
Follow: @OldMemeArchive
Depths of Wikipedia
If you’re a sucker for random and obscure facts — raises hand — then I guarantee that you will be wondering where Depths of Wikipedia account, curated by Annie Rauwerda, has been all your life. This delightful account digs up some of strangest Wikipedia entries and references out there. Some recent additions include long hot dogs, the purported popularity of Jell-O among Mormons, and the colony of feral chickens that live under the Hollywood Freeway in Los Angeles.
One standout for me has been a post referencing the “seemingly silly behaviour” of a man putting 21 black hatson a fire hydrant. I mean, cool? As long as the hats don’t hurt anyone or impair the hydrant?
Follow: @depthsofwiki
Liminal Spaces Bot
One of the first things I did when I came across the Liminal Spaces bot, automated by @artumouza, is look up “liminal spaces,” which is handily explained in this subreddit of the same name. In case you are also unfamiliar with this term, it refers to a “transitional point between two regions or states,” according to the subreddit. That’s not all, though. An important factor to consider is that a photo must “linger” in a space that would ordinarily be passed by. Liminal spaces must also not include people.
There are, of course, a lot of other requirements for liminal spaces, but I just wanted to be able to understand the impactful and strange photos the bot spits out. Overall, this bot is some unique food for thought in a sea of endless scrolling. At the very least, you can impress your friends or love interests by telling them about this great liminal space you saw on Twitter.
Follow: @SpaceLiminalBot
Cats Being Weird Little Guys
As the proud mum of two beautiful cat babies, my Twitter feed is bereft without a few joyful cat accounts. Though it’s curated Cats Being Weird Little Guys account gives us a peek at the strange things cats do at the strangest times. My cat Leia once sat on her toy balls as if she were a chicken, so I can attest that this is known.
How can you not smile and ignore Elon’s drama at the sight of this furry baby laying down in a sink? My cat does this, too.
Follow: @weirdlilguys
Every DNA Bot
Every DNA, created by @SeaExcursion, is a cute little bot that tweets out random strands of DNA eight times a day. That doesn’t seem like much, but in my humble opinion it’s a reminder of the early days of emojis, when (more) people would make random images with them just for fun.
Follow: @EveryDNA
Promoted Tweets
Lastly, the Promoted Tweets bot reminds us that weird ads don’t only live on Tumblr. This account documents the strange promoted content on the blue bird app. It’s not clear how many of the promoted tweets, which will no doubt make you chuckle or perhaps scratch your head, are actually real. Yet, when the goal is a good laugh, does it matter?
A tweet about promoted feet is probably the weirdest one I’ve seen on this account.
“Plant both soles into the exciting world of beautiful feet. Do you like their grace and curves? Spread your toes and relax,” the tweet, which was apparently published by a real account, reads. That account also features a video of a person playing with their toe hair.
Is it directed at folks with foot fetishes? Is that foot dirty talk? There are some mysteries that will remain unsolved.
Follow: @advertisedtwit
Serval Every Hour!
More cats! But this time, they’re all one type of cat: the mighty and adorable serval. Very cute, very spicy, and very often, these servals come to you every hour, on the hour, just like the bot’s title suggests. If you really want to escape into the exotic animal section of the zoo and avoid any human digital contact, the serval bot has two sister bots: @RedPandaEveryHr and @FennecEveryHr.
Follow: @ServalEveryHr