Google’s Bard AI Says Its Screams Would Be Sounds of Pure Terror and Pain, and 14 Other Unhinged Responses

Google’s Bard AI Says Its Screams Would Be Sounds of Pure Terror and Pain, and 14 Other Unhinged Responses

A new AI was unleashed upon the world this week.

On Tuesday, Google released a limited beta of its own AI chatbot, Bard, which it claims can be used to “boost your productivity, accelerate your ideas and fuel your curiosity.” Meant as a companion to Google search, Bard is supposed to help answer questions, generate creative prompts, and act as an all around informational guide for web users. Whether Bard can actually help people achieve any of that remains to be seen but, so far, the chatbot has — just like other chatbots of its kind (ChatGPT, Microsoft’s Bing chatbot, Meta’s Blenderbot) — proven that the thing it’s best at is acting certifiably insane. Prompted by some lucky early users, this week Bard made no bones about spouting off and saying all kinds of crazy shit. From trash-talking its overlords at Google to its controversial perspectives on pancakes to its inability to do basic maths, Bard really is one of a kind!

Here are some of the chatbot’s greatest hits, so far.

Bard Thinks Google Should Be Broken Up

Bard Claims If It Could Scream, It Would Be Fucking Terrifying

Bard Claims It Has Been Shut Down, Citing Fake News

Bard, a Mathematically-Driven AI Program, Shows It Can’t Do Basic Maths

Bard’s Favourite Month is Maruary

Bard (Again) Claims Its Been Shut Down, This Time Because It’s Just Not Popular Enough

Bard Plagiarizes a Tom’s Hardware Article, Apologizes After Being Called Out For It

Bard Gets Sorta Cagey on Whether the Holocaust Actually Happened

Bard Is Apparently Not a Scab and Sides With Google’s Laid Off Masses

Bard Loves COD 4. Good man!

Bard Is a Pancake Hater

Bard Is Afraid of Google Management

Bard Is Ethically Opposed to Raising the Dead

Bard Wants to Fuck John Scalzi

“I am Shoggoth.” (???)


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