The X-Men Movies have always been a bit inconsistent. Not only are the timelines and plot points extremely all over the place from movie to movie, but there are remarkable quality jumps between many of the film, be them part of the original trilogy, or more focused on the ‘prequel’ X-Men cast.
So, I’ve decided to put my thoughts to paper, and what better time to do it than now, when 1) there’s a new Deadpool movie coming out, and 2) our sister streaming channel, PEDESTRIAN TELEVISION, is airing Marvel Anime: X-Men this month. Watch it and more for free on 9Now.
The list below includes the actual names of the flicks, by the way, in case you were wondering if there was any consistency to the series. It’s also based on my own viewing opinion, I welcome you having your preferences!
To me, my X-Men!
10. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
It feels like low-hanging fruit to put X-Men Origins: Wolverine at the bottom of this list, but truly it doesn’t deserve to be any higher. It’s an average movie at best, and it’s easily worse than all of these other flicks, poorly portraying the origins of Logan (Wolverine) with bad structure and CGI. It also butchered Deadpool, and eventually, the film would go on to be the butt of many jokes in the Deadpool movies.
9. Dark Phoenix
Dark Phoenix isn’t quite as bad as Origins, but it’s still not brilliant. Capping off the Fox X-Men universe in the most mid way possible, Dark Phoenix never felt like it delivered on any of the emotional build-up that came with the prequel films. Everything in the flick kind of feels disconnected, with intentions uninteresting or poorly developed at best. It’s worth watching if you want to cap off the prequels, but certainly not on its own.
9. X-Men: The Last Stand
The other Phoenix movie. The Last Stand has that effect on younger viewers where they remember it as the best because it has the most captivating visuals, especially in that final act, but it’s really just nowhere near as good as the original two. Everything feels rushed and ugly in this film, and again, motivations and dialogue are extremely off (“I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!”). It’s worth watching, but it’s hard to love.
7. X-Men: Apocalypse
X-Men: Apocalypse isn’t quite as underwhelming as the film that followed it, Dark Phoenix, and it does have some fairly cool moments throughout it, but overall it’s a fairly average X-Men movie. It’s a much better-connected film than all of the other movies preceding on this list, but the villain was extremely underwhelming, as was the overarching story.
6. X-Men
The OG film of the X-Men movies, this is what started it all. It’s both loved and disliked, with its less colourful but still enjoyable approach to the X-Men team, introducing us to Fox’s world of mutants with a more muted story than the films that followed it, but still quite enjoyable. I personally dislike how Rogue was handled in the film, but I think this flick was just testing the waters.
5. The Wolverine
There’s a fairly huge quality jump from here on out. The Wolverine gave Hugh Jackman’s leading character another shot at a one-off flick, and this time around it came with a really good story with actual tension and some terrific action sequences. It works fairly well as a one-off flick, to be honest, if you just want an action movie.
4. X2
People rave about X2, but I personally don’t think it’s the best X-Men movie. It raises the stakes of the first film with an interesting and enjoyable story, however in my opinion, it’s still washing off the stink of the first film’s murkiness. It’s a great movie, no doubt at all, with tremendous action sequences, but there were some newer X-Men movies that did their characters better.
3. X-Men: First Class
First Class felt like a breathe of fresh air for the X-Men movies. This was the first X-Men team movie that was set in the past, focusing on assembling the OG team, and giving both Magneto and Charles Xavier (Professor X) a sufficient origin story. The emotional weight of this movie, mixed with its great story, CGI, and action, really makes it stand out. It’s just a shame that the preceding prequel films didn’t follow through.
2. X-Men: Days of Future Past
OK, maybe one film did follow through. X-Men: Days of Future Past is perhaps the best film for properly capturing the energy of each team member present, even if its storylines (mixed between original and prequel timelines) were filled with doom. It’s a very good movie for every necessary reason, and if there were one X-Men film that you wanted to watch, this would be the best example. However…
1. Logan
Logan transcends X-Men movies and superhero flicks in general to become something greater. This movie, focusing on a nascent bad ending of the X-Men universe, is brilliant, and feels like the perfect send-off to Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine and Patrick Stewart’s Charles Xavier. The film is emotionally charged, gripping, and filled with weighted action necessary for telling a story separate from CGI-riddled superhero movies. Days of Future Past might be the best X-Men movie, but Logan is the best X-Men movie.
The movies we left out (and how we place them)
You’ve probably noticed some exceptions from this list – we didn’t forget them.
We excluded The New Mutants because it’s just too weird and different to exist alongside many of these other films, but if we did include it, it would probably exist alongside Origins. It’s thematically a sci-fi and horror movie, with some young adult themes in the mix, and you can easily skip it, nay forget it exists.
Deadpool and Deadpool 2 were also excluded even though they are both terrific comedies. We left them out because they are 1) Deadpool movies primarily, and 2) thematically comedic, unlike the serious X-Men movies they’d be counted alongside. You should absolutely watch those movies though! They’d rank among the top five on this list if we included them.
Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness does fit into the same genre as the X-Men movies, but it’s only tangentially linked through a cameo. Doesn’t count! We ranked the MCU films over here, and we’ll likely include Deadpool and Wolverine on that list, because it’ll be in the MCU.
Finally, obviously, we left out any of the connected TV shows (such as Legion) and any of the MCU-linked shows (such as Ms. Marvel and WandaVision). They’re TV shows! Doesn’t count. But you should obviously watch those.
Speaking of which, obviously we were excluding cartoons and comics, but while I have you, you should absolutely go watch Marvel Anime: X-Men on PEDESTRIAN TELEVISION!
Need more entertainment? Pedestrian Television has launched on 9Now where you can cult classic movies and homegrown content like Eternal Family and Rostered On. Watch all that and more for free, 24/7 on 9Now.
Image: Disney, Gizmodo Australia