“Ohhhhh, you’re excited to be Oscar nominated? You want to be 100% safe when you attend the Oscars? Is that right? Yeah, well, no Zoom for you!”
That’s basically what the producers of the upcoming Oscar ceremony said in a letter sent to all nominees this week. The letter explains that this year’s event will be held in person; described it as “an intimate, in-person event at Union Station in Los Angeles, with additional show elements live from the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood;” and explained that Zoom will not be an option for nominees who don’t want to travel to the event, or who just don’t feel comfortable attending even an “intimate” ceremony in person. (The Dolby Theatre, which has a capacity of over 3,400, has been home to the Oscars since 2001; obviously, that’s not a safe primary venue this year considering the ongoing pandemic.)
“For those of you unable to attend because of scheduling or continued uneasiness about travelling, we want you to know there will not be an option to Zoom in for the show,” the letter states, in what was perhaps an unspoken acknowledgement of the recent, technical error-plagued Golden Globes. “We are going to great lengths to provide a safe and ENJOYABLE evening for all of you in person, as well as for all the millions of film fans around the world, and we feel the virtual thing will diminish those efforts.”
The capitalisation is not ours, by the way. That’s part of the letter, which is filled with very weird, almost passive aggressive capitalisations. Here are a few of our favourites.
- “Of course, your first thought is CAN THAT BE DONE SAFELY? The answer is YES, IT CAN.”
- “Therefore, if STORIES matter, then the PEOPLE who bring those stories to life matter. Namely, YOU”
- “It is our belief the show isn’t ‘too long’ because of the speeches. HAVING SAID THAT, we’d like to say THIS: With great freedom comes great responsibility, and if you’re wondering what we mean by that exactly, we mean READ THE ROOM. Tell a STORY. If you’re thanking someone, say their name, not their title. Don’t say MY MANAGER, PEGGY just say PEGGY. Make it PERSONAL.”
Stop yelling at them, producers! They’re Oscar nominees!
There’s much more to the letter, including more details on safety precautions, covid testing, some wording about the dress code, and the overarching idea to give every single nominee a moment to shine, all of which you can read over on Indiewire. But it’ll be very interesting to see who shows up and who doesn’t this year.
The Oscars are April 25. See all the nominees below
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