From SRS Cinema, the distributor behind such titles as Dune World, Amityville Shark House, and Zillafoot (combining the powers of Godzilla and Bigfoot) comes another title seemingly assembled from Mad Libs and somebody’s (literally, in this case) corny sense of humour: Sharks of the Corn.
Do you really need us to explain that what they’re going for is a humorous riff on Children of the Corn meets Jaws? Didn’t think so. But maybe you’re intrigued enough by this off-kilter concept to check out the trailer (out since March, but this is the first we’re hearing of it, thanks to Twitter). Prepare yourself for a zillion-dollar idea that makes little to no sense (exhibit A: sharks, which are usually exclusively water-dwelling creatures, prowling a cornfield) and looks like it cost $200 to make, but was clearly driven by the kind of passion for the ridiculous that you can’t help but admire.
Need more context? Here’s the official synopsis, including a shark-themed serial-killer subplot you never knew you wanted more than anything: “Strange things are happening in Druid Hills, Kentucky, known mainly for its voluminous corn output. Victims of monsters in cornfields begin cropping up, and witnesses are saying there are ‘large Great White sharks swimming in the corn stalks!’
Meanwhile, serial killer Teddy Bo Lucas is arrested for killing dozens of people using shark jaws and teeth as weapons. Chief Vera Scheider [cult scream queen Shannon Stockin] is caught in the middle, trying to figure out if her missing twin sister Lorna might be one of them. When Teddy agrees to take her to one of his prime burial sites in a cornfield, an insane chain of events unfold that NO ONE is prepared for, pitting the Druid Hills townsfolk against an outrageous shark worshipping cult that is planning to take over the world, one cornfield at a time! And their main protectors are jaw-snapping SHARKS OF THE CORN!”
Sharks of the Corn — directed and written by veteran B-movie filmmaker Tim Ritter, which suggests the whole “Stephen Kang” reference in the full title is just a Stephen King troll — is available now on Blu-ray (with an included 90-minute making-of documentary) as well as on-demand. It is almost Shark Week, after all!
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