I must admit, I’m not a big fan of cucumbers. However, I certainly don’t want to see cucumbers go the way of the dodo. That’s why, when Hendrick’s Gin informed me that it had “brought some of the most rare and peculiar cucumbers from around the globe back from the brink of extinction,” I thought it was cool.
“Good for you, Hendrick’s Gin!” I thought, thinking that these cucumbers were going to a special garden or whatnot to ensure they were protected. Alas, it was foolish of me to think that the folks behind Hendrick’s Gin, the distiller and distributor William Grant & Sons, would do something simply for the good of the cucumbers. Because money.
That’s right, these cucumbers aren’t going to be preserved, they’re going to be sold as “Hendrick’s Curious Cucumber Collection” for $US48 ($67). That’s the price of being rescued from extinction.
Look, I get it. Even though I’m full of anxiety these days about how our consumerist ways are wrecking the planet, I know that we live in a capitalist society. I probably wouldn’t have thought much of it if Hendrick’s Gin simply announced that its new collection featured rare cucumbers from around the world.
But, saying that you brought these cucumbers “back from the brink of extinction” only to announce that you’re selling them in the same sentence seems kind of hypocritical to me.
According to the Hendrick’s press release, it seems that these cucumbers have been restored to a sufficient enough scale that allows them to be sold. Again, nice! I’m happy that these rare cucumbers are no longer in imminent danger. Yet, to bring back cucumbers that are on “the brink of extinction” and then have your next order of business be to start selling them seems… peculiar. Jurassic Park, anyone?
All in all, don’t try to sell capitalism as saving the planet. There is at least one good thing that came out of Hendrick Gin’s endeavour: a nifty look at lots of strange cucumbers.
The Hmong Red Cucumber
This cucumber is grown by the Hmong people in the mountains of Northern Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Myanmar. Once it matures, the Hmong Red changes from a pale green colour to orange, as it’s shown above. According to Hendrick’s, it has a tart flavour.
Muromsky Cucumber
Originally from Eastern Europe, the Muromsky Cucumber has a unique appearance. It’s covered in black spikes, according to the distiller, although those don’t seem like spikes to me. It’s known for smelling good, being crunchy, and having a “punchy flavour.”
Cucamelon Cucumber
I did not know cucumbers could be that round. If you think it looks like a watermelon, you’re not alone.
The Cucamelon is grown in Mexico and Central America and tastes similar to the cucumbers you’d buy at the grocery store. Its taste is sweeter and resembles citrus.
Aonaga Jibai Cucumber
The Aonaga Jibai is probably one of the rarest cucumbers Hendrick’s Gin has cultivated. It can only be found in the town of Beppu on the island of Kyushu, Japan. Unlike most cucumbers, it has a sweet taste.
African Horned Cucumber
This didn’t look like a cucumber at all to me, but hey, you learn something new every day. The African Horned cucumber is native to Southern Africa and has a mix of flavours. You get notes of melon, kiwi, banana, and citrus in this one.
Oh Yeah, Hendrick’s Also Made a Rare Cucumber Cocktail
And finally, we see capitalism embodied in a photo. The “Cutecumber Lemonade” cocktail is a spin off one of the distiller’s most popular drinks.
A Hendrick’s ambassador calls it “The Cutecumber Lemonade.”
Cool. Now I don’t care how good your lemonade is, don’t put the cucumbers you just saved in danger again.