We’ve all seen it on screens — there’s an unhealthy obsession in Hollywood with pitting two friends against each other for someone else’s love. The dreaded, cliched love triangle. There is an easy solution here. Polyamory! All these triangles need to throuple up with healthy, ethical expectations of each other and nothing but love in their hearts. Above we have a shot from The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself, which gives Nathan a boyfriend and a girlfriend and they are all great. This sort of thing should happen more often!
Jealousy is normal, but we’re done with letting jealousy get in the way of love. There’s really no reason not to try it, and after all, these are fictional characters! Fanfiction exists for precisely this reason, so let’s see how many SFF love triangles should have been throuples.
Jacob/Bella/Edward
No more teams. Fuck that. Let Jacob and Edward both date Bella. Nix the imprint on Renesme. Just let them live. Together. Happily. See how easy this is, authors and fanfic writers?
Ardeth/Rick/Evelyn
I’m sorry but Rick O’Connell in The Mummy and especially in The Mummy Returns gives off big bisexual energy and I think it would be cute if he had a boyfriend.
Louis/Armand/Daniel
This is a true throuple. I want all of them in relationships with each other. They deserve it. They will eat each other alive and it will be gloroius. If anyone can pitch this to Rolin Jones for season two of Interview With the Vampire, please do so. I just think they would be very toxic.
Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot
The classique throuple situation. Lancelot is supposed to be wickedly handsome, I just don’t get why these three don’t throuple up in ANY media. It’s not like there’s not rumours about Arthur and Lancelot already; just like… make it happen. This also isn’t about BBC’s Merlin, but it’s not… not about Merlin.
Ianthe/Harrow/Gideon
Let lesbians lesbian. It can’t be that hard. Sure, Ianthe is an absolute dumpster fire and Harrow is trauma made bony flesh, but Gideon is a red-blooded butch lesbian and she can handle these two!! I know it! She has TWO HANDS!!!
Cyclops/Jean Grey/Wolverine
Real X-Men girlies know that Wolverine is queer, and I think that Scott Summers would, you know, be open to experimenting.
Kagome/Inu-Yasha/Kikyo
I am someone who sees the vision. The vision is that Inu-Yasha is a dummy who fell in love with the same person 2,000 years apart and they all need to hold hands. Thank you.
Mal/Alina/Nikolai
The evidence speaks for itself: Nikolai gave Alina a compass and then he gave the same compass to Mal! There was a whole subplot where Alina would marry Nikolai for political gain and it just MAKES SENSE! They could just all be in love! It could just happen like that and I wouldn’t be mad!
Constantine/Dream/Hob Gadling
I see you Dreamling fans and I want to raise you a third with the Bisexual Constantine. Of Whatever Gender. Just add one of them in there and I think they’d have the worst time ever.
Zuko/Katara/Aang
First. We ALL saw the Zutara happening on screen. All of us. Do not deny it. Second. I just think that Aang and Katara were annoying together. And I think if Zuko was their boyfriend they might have been a little less annoying! I understand they are literally 14 and have no idea how to figure any of this out, but like give it a decade and have them reunite and… I think that they would have been a power throuple, idk.
Izzy Hands/Ed Teach/Stede Bonnet
RIP to the fandom, but I just think that Steddyhands needs to be cannon. Sorry. The Izzy/Ed divorce is on the edge of splitting up for good this time, and Stede’s Other Woman energy is really making it hard to concentrate on the plot. It makes sense! Why can’t we have nice things? Don’t we deserve to have this? I simply feel like Stede balances out Ed and Izzy, and Izzy is truly the only one thinking practically and Ed is just dripping rizz like of course he pulls two bad bitches, he’s Ed-fucking-Teach. He’s Blackbeard!! Of course he has two boyfriends!!!
The point here is that more relationships, not less, is the way to go and I just wish that more authors were open to throuples in their stories! I think it would be nice!