I’ll never forget where I was at roughly 3:00 am on May 22, 2008. While most people were sleeping, myself and a few friends poured out of the midnight showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull at the Ziegfeld Theatre in New York City. And we each felt like we’d been punched in the gut.
To say we were disappointed would be an understatement. We were devastated. To have our heroes Steven Spielberg, Harrison Ford, George Lucas, and others combine to make that? It felt like the end of the world. Like it wasn’t real life. And that’s why, in the subsequent 15 years, I became one of those people who’d make the joke “I hope they finally make a fourth Indiana Jones movie.”
In that time, I’ve given Crystal Skull several second chances but each time it failed to grow on me. (Some of them I’ve ever covered on this site). So, how would this time be different? Well, this was the first time watching Kingdom of the Crystal Skull after a newer Indiana Jones movie. And that, finally, did change my perspective on it, ever so slightly.
As Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny approaches its release date, Gizmodo has been revisiting each of the Indiana Jones films just to see what, if anything, stands out about them in 2023. First, it was Raiders of the Lost Ark, widely considered to be one of the best action films ever made. Next, it was Temple of Doom, a film that took the franchise in a whole new direction. Third, it was Last Crusade, which feels more like a comedy masquerading as an adventure story than the other way around. All three remain classics in their own right. And now, it’s time for Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, widely regarded to be the worst of the bunch.
When I began this series, the plan was for me to finish it before seeing Dial of Destiny. Then, I was lucky enough to be approved to talk to director James Mangold so I got to see it earlier than planned. I mention that not as any kind of humblebrag, but because Dial of Destiny — which I do prefer to Crystal Skull — did make Crystal Skull look better in a few ways. The most obvious one is just Harrison Ford’s physicality. When filming Crystal Skull, Ford was in his mid-60s. That’s old for an action hero, certainly, but the guy still had it. In Crystal Skull, Indy runs, jumps, punches, and climbs with the best of them. Is 2008 Harrison Ford as spry as 1981 Harrison Ford? Of course not. But he’s much, much closer to that than 2023 Harrison Ford is. So right off the bat, from the first few scenes, I realised Crystal Skull was hitting a little differently. And I was happy about it.
Honestly, the first hour of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is kind of amazing. People love to joke about the “Nuke the Fridge” moment and sure it’s a little silly, but Indiana Jones is a little silly. Always has been. The way that scene perfectly places the film in its post-World War II, Red Scare setting is a little audacious, but it works. Even before that though, the movie is firing on all cylinders. First, there’s an incredible, action-packed opening sequence which, much like Last Crusade’s, answers some key questions about the franchise — mainly, where exactly the Ark went at the end of Raiders. After that, and the whole nuclear bomb thing, there’s a quick narrative reassessment; we see Indy at school, he gets derailed, another big action scene happens, and we’re off on the adventure. That was the formula in Raiders as well as Last Crusade, and Crystal Skull nails it. Seriously, rewatching this movie, for the first hour I was like, “What was I thinking all these years? This movie is incredible.”
Where the film loses it is when the villains (led by Cate Blanchett and, come on, who is better than Cate Blanchett?) capture Indy and Mutt (Shia LaBeouf) and they’re reunited with Marion (Karen Allen) and Oxley (John Hurt). The whole feel of the movie just changes almost instantly. The back and forth with Indy’s friend Mac (Ray Winstone) feels like a cosmetic add-on. That Indy so willingly helps the enemies doesn’t quite sit right. There are multiple, short quick action sequences that happen for little to no reason (Mutt attempting escape, and the “quicksand” thing for example). Even the second act’s big set piece, the jungle chase, fails not only because of Mutt swinging with the monkeys (which, admittedly, is as bad now as ever) but because it’s a rare Spielberg action scene where time and space are not well-defined. How big is this jungle? Where are they going? Who is on each car and where are they in each moment? It’s just a poorly thought-out and executed scene with moments that are way too over the top, even for an Indiana Jones film. Indy films are silly, but swinging with monkeys and fencing between vehicles is just stupid. You get the sense that you’re no longer watching an Indy film, you’re watching a poor substitute.
Then there are the aliens. Oh, I’m sorry, “interdimensional beings.” Honestly, I don’t have a problem with them being at the centre of an Indiana Jones movie. In fact, it’s a nice, unexpected shift from the previous three films. The problem is that the creatures and their abilities feel wholly disconnected from the movie around them. Their skulls control minds? Why? One was stolen? By who? They’re all sitting in this hidden city? Knowledge, not gold, was the treasure? It’s all so vague and incohesive. The aliens don’t work in the film because nothing about them forms a straightforward, relatable object or goal for Indy and his friends. Find the Ark to defeat the Nazis. Return the Stones to save the kids. Protect the Grail to save history. Return the skull… so that interdimensional beings can share knowledge with a random Russian woman who then maybe goes to another dimension, but we don’t know. It just doesn’t fit.
But maybe that’s the point here. Maybe the point isn’t the journey this time. Indy’s older. Wiser. Maybe this time, through this adventure, Indy just needed to find his family in Marion and Mutt. That sentiment comes through in the film’s perfect final moments as Spielberg teases us with the passing of the fedora, only to take it out from under our feet.
And so, as the end credits of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull rolled, I was torn. The film really does start strong. Ford is excellent in it, the cast around him seems to be having a ton of fun, Indy grows as a character, and the ending is fantastic. But the movie just goes so off the rails for so long that it’s almost unforgivable. Almost. After 15 years, I think I’m finally ready to forgive. The movie is half good and while I was once half empty about it, now I’m half full. But, I’m also willing to admit, that might be because Crystal Skull is no longer Indy’s final adventure.
Friends, thank you for following me on this adventure. It’s been a blast going back into the world of Indiana Jones again and I hope you had as much fun as I did. I also hope you all enjoy Dial of Destiny as much as I did. One last time, here’s the whole journey.
- Raiders of the Lost Ark
- Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (you’re in it!)
- Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is now streaming on Disney+ and Paramount+. Dial of Destiny is in cinemas.