The Apple Vision Pro has only been out (in the U.S.) for a few days now, and I’m already so over of it – and yet I, and you too, need to gear up for the cringe that is to come.
Social media has been flooded with influencers being extremely unsafe with them, while other creators are trying to claim that it’s the best piece of tech since sliced bread and that Apple is pioneering in the VR space.
At this point, it all just seems like clout chasing; viral videos of people showing off their new $US3,500 ($6,400 if you want a grey import in Australia) toy. The headset has very little actual purpose as a “spatial computer” where your device windows appear around you. That’s the only thing the headset has going for it, and it’s not exactly a transformative experience that brings in the masses, especially when it’s so restrictively expensive and massive on your head.
Almost everything else the headset does you can do with a laptop and a phone – both of which Apple sells for nowhere near a combined price of $US3,500, or whatever they’ll price the device as in Australia. So, similar to viral posts about NFTs being the future, or living in the metaverse being an eventual reality, and without an actual utility, we get influencers and creators acting like this:
This is how an 8 year old shuts the door of an SUV https://t.co/fJ8D9A0pi1
— Emoji Caresser (@LizRummy) February 5, 2024
The obsession with pairing the Apple Vision Pro with Teslas seems pervasive – like these creators seem determined to prove that they’re ahead of the curve. The above video just makes no sense; no application on the Vision Pro requires that much gesturing, and you’re overacting if you’re a grown adult closing a car door like that.
Backing up, if you’re mixing “Apple Vision Pro” and “car”, you’re an indescribable idiot.
Billions of dollars have been spent trying and failing to achieve something I do every morning with a smartphone and a train https://t.co/EXM5Ern3PI
— the prince with a thousand enemies ♂️ (@jaketropolis) February 4, 2024
On top of Apple specifically noting in the headset user guide that you should never use it “while operating a moving vehicle, bicycle, heavy machinery, or in any other situations requiring attention to safety,” you should be able to work this one out for yourself. You’re driving a two-tonne car, buddy. I don’t care how good the autopilot is (read: not very), having a VR headset on where your attention can be taken away from the road should get your licence revoked.
Of the things that require your attention on the Vision Pro, very little of it is new. Apart from full 3D passthrough, everything in this thread that hypes up the device can be done with a $440 Meta Quest 2, or with an $800 Meta Quest 3 if passthrough matters so much.
Gonna have to mute Apple Vision Pro just cause I don’t think I can handle the “Apple did it first” on stuff we were just talking about a month ago. https://t.co/Q8pQpAsKBp
— Grubb (@JeffGrubb) February 4, 2024
Oh, and the one unique thing that the headset can do, is generate a 3D bust of your face for FaceTime calls, as if you aren’t wearing the headset, looks like garbage. When I first saw these faces, my jaw dropped. I expect this kind of futurist concept garbage from a company like Meta or a metaverse-focused startup, but Apple? Genuinely, for a video call, why not just… Take the headset off?
big tech is so cooked. it’s so over. three years of insipid gimmicks no one wants that also look like shit. https://t.co/V22AL9gdLI
— kate wagner (@mcmansionhell) February 1, 2024
Anyway, this was cathartic for me. I love VR. ‘Spatial computing’ seems like a ruse.
Screenshots: Twitter