bezos
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Amazon’s New World MMO Won’t Let You Name Yourself Jeff Bezos
No, you cannot name yourself Jeff Bezos or any variant thereof in Amazon’s recently released and incredibly messy Massively Multiplayer Online Colonisation Simulator, The New World. This is unsurprising given the extremely fragile egos of the most powerful men on earth. Even in beta, The New World suffered its fair share of name shenanigans, most…
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Wall-E Tried to Warn Us
I was sick in bed when Jeff Bezos took his 10-minute trip in a dick-shaped rocket to suborbital space on Tuesday morning, so I tuned out all the fawning cable news coverage proclaiming that this was somehow good for humanity. (It’s not). Instead, I watched something else.
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The Dickhead Has Landed
Jeff Bezos utterly smashed the Kármán line, the internationally-recognised edge of space 100 km above sea level, at approximately 9:04 a.m. Eastern Standard Time this morning, awarding him the permanent honorific: “astronaut.” As Blue Origin has made sure to clarify ahead of time, Jeff Bezos is now a no-asterisk astronaut (unlike Richard Branson, who only…
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Jeff Bezos Tells Amazon to Treat Employees Better While He Prepares to Flee Planet Earth
Earth today received parting words from Jeff Bezos, as the soon-to-be-former Amazon CEO turned over his shoulder on the slow walk to the rocket launch pad and observed: damn, you guys really need to turn this dump around — I mean, Christ, look at yourselves.