CES is the week where all the big companies get together to bombard everyone with announcements. Before the conference, I jokingly suggested a drinking game: every time a product was announced with “AI”, you would take a shot. I’m sorry to inform you that anyone who participated in that game would have died of alcohol poisoning in the first hour.
So, here are some of the things that have AI in them now, for some reason.
A pillow
Because why not, really. DeRucci, that company that had the really creepy billboards of that man staring at you, has introduced an AI-enabled pillow that will recognise when you start snoring because of small movements, and then lightly jostle you to make you stop. You can also make small adjustments to the comfort of the pillow using the remote. Because why not, really? The pillow will release in the US later this year for $972USD (or $1446AUD). Turns out you really can put a price on a good night’s sleep.
A toothbrush
The Oclean Ultra is an electric toothbrush that is always judging you and your technique in the way I imagine the tooth fairy did when I was a child. Unlike other wi-fi enabled toothbrushes, this one will give you feedback on your brushing in real-time. By talking to you. With a voice. A voice that is rattled through your bones. It uses bone conduction tech to pass judgement on how you brush. Apparently, this is something people want.
A small phone that isn’t a phone to get you to use your phone less or something
Rabbit has released the R1, a walkie talkie that you can ask to do things. It doesn’t have apps installed and instead uses cloud-based apps and AI to do your bidding. It represents a post-app world, and a device that you maybe carry around with your phone? Instead of your phone if you don’t want to be called? It’s a device that certainly exists, and there’s probably someone that will enjoy it, but I have to admit to failing to see the point of it.
A cat flap
Flappie is an intelligent cat flap that won’t let your cat in if it’s holding a dead creature, thus ensuring your cat leaves death and decay at your door rather than under your couch. Its state-of-the-art AI technology can identify prey, like mice and birds, but not whether it’s actually your cat trying to gain entrance. You will get notifications, photos and videos though, so it’s like a smart doorbell for your cat. Plus, it gives you exciting statistics and insights about your cat’s hunting behaviour, so you’ll know just how much native wildlife your outdoor cat has killed in its wanderings. How thrilling. Presumably, none of those insights will include the stat that outdoor cats on average live 2-5 years, vs indoor cats’ 10-15 years.
But, yeah. Cool. AI-enabled cat flap.
A phone app that will translate a baby’s cries into English
I’m about to be a mum, which means that now every single ad I get is either for impossibly adorable baby clothes, or some kind of expensive technology the ad promises will stop me from ruining my child due to my assumed negligence.
This app, named Capella, will charge parents $10USD a month to tell you if the baby is crying because they’re hungry, uncomfortable, tired or covered in their own waste. It claims to be 95 per cent accurate, vs the puny 30 per centsuccess rate for humans.
A self-driving pram
So, you know how self-driving cars sound like a good idea in theory, but in reality every now and then seemingly try to kill the occupants of the car by ignoring a stop light or driving into on-coming traffic? What if, instead of a car made of metal and airbags, it was a pram? That’s the thought behind the Ella smart pram from a Canadian company named Glüxkind. The good news is that it only drives itself when its empty, say if a parent is carrying the baby. The bad news is that it is a deeply weird and cursed concept.
However, I do like that the pram will rock the baby and use a white noise machine to help the little one sleep, and the motors in it will help parents push the pram up sleep hills.
A dog bowl
The new Ilume AI dog bowl is judging your dog for being fat. A new collar and dog bowl combo will track your dog’s exercise and then decide what portion of food they deserve to avoid overfeeding.
I can’t wait until it makes the leap to humans.