We all love to make fun of the Cybertruck, Tesla’s (or, at least, Musk’s) vanity project involving a truck that doesn’t look anything like a truck, instead doing its best to look like an equation in a maths textbook.
Unfortunately, though, us lowly folk in Australia won’t be getting the Cybertruck anytime soon, and it’s highly unlikely that we ever will unless it changes drastically. This means that, for better or worse, not many people in Australia have actually seen a Cybertruck.
Dear reader, I have joined the club. My eyes have been blessed by the geometric nightmare we kindly refer to as a ‘truck’.
I have travelled over to San Jose in the U.S. state of California for the week, where there is, conveniently, a Tesla dealership just a short walk from my hotel room. In said dealership, smack-bang in the middle, is the Cybertruck in all its angular glory.
I personally don’t write a lot about the Cybertruck – it’s not coming to Australia so I don’t really care (I’m more interested in cars like the 2024 Tesla Model 3, which are bound for Australia). However, because it’s one of the most divisive electric cars in the world, we obviously post a lot of coverage about it from our colleagues in the U.S., including from Gizmodo’s sister site Jalopnik.
Impressions from auto journalists have… Not been good, although it does have some alright specs to its name (even if it isn’t as cheap as was originally announced).
And now that I’ve gotten to see it, I’ll happily join in – this thing is ugly. Stylistically, I like the vibe it’s trying to go for – the same retrofuturism that Hyundai and Kia nailed with the Ioniq 5 and the Kia EV6, but this thing is huge and dumb.
The great big wiper on the side makes this thing look like a concept car more than anything else, something that should have stayed a drawing, and the fact that it’s meant to manage the whole gigantic windshield on its own is laughable.
Even though this a display model (according to the dealers, it’s indicative of a full-release model and isn’t a ‘Release Candidate’), the panel alignment looked very uneven (as pointed out by one of my colleagues, Jen Dudley Nicholson – read her stuff!). Even where things looked fairly alright between both sides, the angles on this thing make it look wildly out of shape. Seriously, look at this.
It’s also so difficult to shake just how easy this thing would be to mark. Not just because it’s huge, heavy, and handles like a brick, but because it’s stainless steel, and even though it’s cordoned off, kids’ hands will still find their way over. So will dust, smog, dirt, and anything that has you returning to a car wash.
I will say though – as much as I don’t like the angles on this thing, the wrap-around brake light and headlight are extremely my vibe.
I don’t like, however, how shallow the back tray looks, or how silly this charging port is. What an odd place to put it.
Now, again, it’s a display model. I didn’t get to sit in it or go for a drive in it, so I can’t speak on specs or interior feeling.
But for a car that’s meant to represent the upper echelon of electric offroading and cumbersome load moving, this thing looks like a joke on wheels.
Small bonus item: there was a Cyberquad.
Anyway. I hope what electric trucks do come to Australia look better than this.
Image: Zachariah Kelly/Gizmodo Australia
Want more Aussie car news? Here’s every EV we’ve reviewed in the last two years, all the EVs we can expect down under soon, and our guide to finding EV chargers across the country. Check out our dedicated Cars tab for more.