It’s that time of year when you suddenly get the urge to watch movies where someone in a red sweater decides to leave the big city behind and shack up with the grumpy person in a green sweater to runs a small town Christmas tree farm. Corny romantic movies that give you far too much insight into the hopes, dreams and political leanings of late middle-aged mums in US flyover states are traditional at this time of year. However, it’s not just the straights that get to enjoy this nonsense, the queers have now gotten on the Christmas movie train and it is glorious.
So, here is a list of some of my favourite queer Christmas as miscellaneous holiday movies. Please note that being a “good” movie is not necessarily a way to get on this list. Part of the joy of Christmas movies is mocking as a family (or found family). Christmas movies are like Christmas cracker jokes in that everyone should have a good time groaning about how corny and lame they are.
Under The Christmas Tree
There is a lot to love about Under The Christmas Tree. I think it might be my favourite queer holiday movie, which says a lot about me, but also the general quality of queer holiday movies. It follows the traditional plot of straight Lifetime Christmas movies, but it’s queer and subsequently much better. Charlie is looking for the perfect tree for the Maine Governor’s Holiday Celebration, which is apparently important enough to justify two full-time tree experts to travel the state to find said tree. Charlie finds this tree in Alma’s backyard. But Alma has enough change going on in her life now that she might have to take over her parent’s Christmas catalogue business, and so they butt heads while Alma’s parents try to play matchmaker.
It’s basically the perfect Christmas movie.
Alma is played by Elise Bauman (Carmilla, The Carmilla Movie, Workin’ Moms) and her dad is played by Enrico Colantoni (Veronica Mars) who also played Bauman’s dad in Carmilla, so that’s a nice full circle moment.
Season of Love
This is the first movie in Christin Baker’s queer holiday movieverse, and I also think it’s the best of the bunch (though, I Hate New Years comes close). Season of Love follows three different couples at Christmas and stars Dominique Provost-Chalkley (Wynonna Earp, The Carmilla Movie), Sandra May Frank (New Amsterdam), and Jessica Clark (True Blood). It’s cute. You’ll laugh, you’ll (almost) cry, you’ll want to turn it into a holiday tradition. Good times.
Friends & Family Christmas
Full disclosure: I have not yet seen Friends & Family Christmas, because it is not yet legally available in Australia. However, it deserves a place on this list because it is Hallmark’s first-ever lesbian Christmas movie, and I really need that in my life. Making it better, it has a fake dating plot. Like all lesbians, I live for a fake dating plot, so you can understand why this made the list. It stars Ali Liebert (Bomb Girls, Family Law) and Humberley González (In The Dark, Ginny & Georgia) and hopefully, it will hit streaming here soon.
Single All The Way
Peter brings his best friend, Nick, home for the holidays to pretend to be in a relationship. This is not an indie, Lifetime or Hallmark movie, but in fact a Netflix film, which means it had an actual budget and was allowed to be actually gay, rather than just “safe to show to a conservative grandma who thinks she’s progressive” gay. It stars Michael Urie (Ugly Betty, Shrinking, Younger), Luke Macfarlane (Bros, Killjoys, Brothers & Sisters) and Philemon Chambers (Walker Independence), and is actually, genuinely good.
Happiest Season
On the one hand, this movie is kinda sad and has a ridiculous fight scene that makes me angry. On the other hand, Kristen Stewart is at her absolute gayest and wears some excellent outfits, and that brings me joy. In the film, Harper brings her girlfriend Abby to visit her parents for Christmas. Unfortunately, Harper isn’t out yet, and doesn’t tell Abby until they’re almost there. Hijinks ensue and it’s a funny, poignant movie that is genuinely good. Clea Duvall is the perfect director for it, there’s a Tegan and Sara song in it. It stars Kristen Stewart (Twilight, Charlie’s Angels), Mackenzie Davis (Terminator: Dark Fate, Halt and Catch Fire, Station Eleven), Alison Brie (Community), Dan Levy (Schitt’s Creek) and Victor Garber (Titanic, Legends of Tomorrow, Milk). A must-watch.
A Christmas Set Up
Fran Dresher sets up her son with a rich man at Christmas. Like, there is more to it, but do you really need more of a pitch than that?
Rent
If we’re calling Die Hard a Christmas movie, then Rent is a Christmas movie. This is really one of the foundation pieces of queer cinema and theatre. It’s about people living in insecure housing and dealing with aids in a cold winter. It’s a musical, and the film version stars Idina Menzel (Frozen, Wicked), Anthony Rapp (Star Trek: Discovery), and Rosario Dawson (Josie and the Pussycats, Ashoka). It’s genuinely good.
I Hate New Years
Technically not a Christmas movie, but that’s one of the nice things about making your own rules on these lists. This is still park of the Christin Barker queer holiday movie-verse. It stars Dia Frampton (The Voice, Merry & Gay), Ashley Argota Torres (The Fosters, The Americans) and Candis Cayne (Elementary, Dirty Sexy Money, The Magicians). Layne (Frampton) is a rising music star with writer’s block who has headed back to Nashville to try and hunt down her ex with the help of her best friend Cassie (Argota). But, wouldn’t you know it, maybe the love of her life has been in front of her all along, etc etc. It’s a fun time.
Carol
I don’t think you’re allowed to do one of these lists without mentioning Carol. There’s a law. Ellen DeGeneres comes and makes you talk to her on the set of her talk show as punishment. Anyway, watch Carol, I guess.
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